Killing Us Softly

by Jezra

"Killing Us Softly 4" documents advertising's image of women

What does advertising’s image of women have to do with our ability to craft satisfying and equitable careers?

Well, it’s called “internalized oppression” — the process by which any group will take corrosive social images into their own minds, and be held back by them.  (Let’s not even get into what happens when other people believe that women are simply the sum of our sexual parts…)

If we believe, no matter how slightly, that we’re really supposed to be beautiful, decorative (and nowadays, slutty) sex objects, we’re going to find it subtly harder to speak up for ourselves with clarity, impact and ease.

You don’t feel that way about yourself?  Congratulations!  Still, each day, you’re exposed to 3000+ advertising attempts to make you feel like, at the very most, a  consumerist object.  Want to see what those messages are telling you?  Watch the trailer for Jean Kilbourne’s brilliant documentary (her fourth on this topic in 40 years; and no, things are not getting better!), or  watch the whole harrowing film in low rez here.  And go to Jean’s site to learn more.

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More on Kudos (for Yourself)

by Jezra

waiting for your work to be noticed

waiting for your work to be noticed

Must read:  Andrea S. Kramer’s Bragging Rights: Self-Evaluation Dos and Don’ts reports on the 1000 attorney self-evaluations she read while serving on McDermott, Will & Emery’s Compensation Committee.  With typical mild understatement, she says, “I was struck by the differences between those self-evaluations submitted by men and those submitted by women.”  No kidding!  Check out Kramer’s transformative recommendations, on page 2.

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Kudos or Kicks? (The “I” Word)

06.14.2010

For years, I’ve been encouraging women to make clear, straightforward statements of their achievements.  But does that work in a law firm environment?  Consider statements like the following:

“I negotiated a deal that was more than my client hoped for.”
“My motion for summary judgment was granted.”
“The appellate brief that I wrote won.”

Are these things you [...]

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When It’s Hard to Talk to Your Client

06.14.2010

Delivering difficult news — or saying almost anything to a client who’s “civility challenged” — can be tough.  In last month’s New York Women’s Bar Association newsletter, I wrote about how to analyze and prepare for these sometimes-daunting encounters. (Download When It’s Hard to Talk to Your Client.)
Do you have a reliable approach for prepping [...]

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Best Friends at the Bar: A Great Resource!

06.11.2010

What if you could gather 60+ smart, seasoned women attorneys in one room, and ask them about all your professional conflicts, questions and concerns?
That’s what reading “Best Friends at the Bar” is like.  Author (and former law firm partner) Susan Smith Blakely has gathered an extraordinary group of women and men for a  no-nonsense, yet [...]

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Department of “They Didn’t Really Say That, Did They?”

06.04.2010
they-should-have-sought-legal-advice

Was she fired from Citibank for being too… “curvy”?
Referencing the New York Post, the ABA Journal reports that, “In a court filing, Debrahlee Lorenzana complained to management that she was being treated in a sexist and discriminatory manner and that other women at the bank dressed more provocatively than she did.”
At that [...]

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Childless on the Supreme Court

05.26.2010

Lisa Belkin’s NY Times column, “Judging Women,” has kicked off an important discussion about what it means that the first two women on the Supreme Court were parents while Sonia Sotomayor and Elana Kagan are not.  This lively discussion between Belkin and Gail Collins (author of “When Everything Changed“) talks about what hasn’t changed for [...]

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Ask For It!

05.25.2010

Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever, who wrote Women Don’t Ask, have a wonderful new book out called Ask For It. Babcock is the scholar who calculated that failure to negotiate your first job offer can amortize out into a $1 million lifetime loss for women.
Fortunately, it’s never too late to negotiate for your own career [...]

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Where to Put Your Hands

03.12.2010

Are you ever the smallest person in the room?  Even average- or large-sized women can find ourselves physically dwarfed by our male colleagues.
Male strategies like sprawling, or splaying their legs far apart can’t work for women.  But these 3 tips will help you bulk up your impact, even when your physical “footprint” is small:
1. Wear “power” [...]

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NYWBA Newsletter (March 2010)

03.04.2010

Note:  This month the New York Women’s Bar Association launches a bi-monthly column by yours truly called (yes, you guessed it!) Be Your Own Advocate. Enjoy!
It’s easy for women attorneys to feel discouraged about their prospects.  This economy has been disastrous for many — but even before the crash last year, progress toward parity seemed [...]

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